TuxedoTranslations

Chapter 106

Now this was truly a… headache-inducing problem.

Lin Mingfei covered his forehead again at the doorway.

“I’m coming in,” he said in a deep voice.

“Don’t come in!!” Xia Xiaotong wailed through his tears. “I’m so embarrassed! Waaaaah!!!”

“……If I don’t come in, what are you planning to do? Sit on the toilet all day?!” Lin Mingfei was both exasperated and worried sick about him, and couldn’t help losing his temper. “This is what you get for not eating vegetables and stuffing yourself with so much meat yesterday!”

Xia Tong: “Waaaaah, you’re yelling at me too!!”

In the end, Lin Mingfei still resorted to forcibly breaking down the door. He hauled the poor little thing, who had been sitting on the toilet until his legs went numb, to his feet, got his pants properly fastened, and hauled him off to the hospital.

When had Xia Tong ever suffered like this? He cried and whimpered nonstop the whole way there. “Big Brother, my butt hurts! Waaaaah! I even pooped blood! Waaaaah! Am I going to die? Waaaaah!”

Lin Mingfei: “……”

Come on, anyone who sits on a toilet for more than an hour is going to be hurting afterward!

That chief complaint immediately led to an awkward situation as soon as they sat down in the colorectal clinic. The doctor looked at Lin Mingfei differently at once, his gaze full of disdain and accusation.

Lin Mingfei’s face went blank. He could already guess what that doctor was cursing him as in his head.

Pervert.

Damn it, as if he hadn’t already been called that enough!

It was Xia Tong’s first time being constipated, and he didn’t know how to use an enema. All he knew was to keep straining as hard as he could, and he had been too rough with himself and ended up tearing the skin. The moment he saw a little blood, he was scared out of his wits and cried as though the sky itself were falling.

After they explained the whole story at the outpatient clinic, the doctor was both exasperated and amused. He prescribed them some medicine to help relieve the constipation and lubricate the bowels, then reminded Xia Tong to maintain a balanced diet and, above all, not to eat nothing but meat while avoiding vegetables. With that, he sent them on their way.

Xia Tong walked out of the clinic covering his butt. After a while, he switched to holding his lower abdomen and said pitifully, “Ge, my stomach still feels so bloated.”

“Tell me, aren’t you getting what you deserve?” Lin Mingfei lectured him sternly. “Go home and take your medicine. Once it works and you have a bowel movement, you’ll be fine. Let’s see if you dare do this again.”

Being scolded only made Xia Tong feel even more miserable, and he didn’t dare initiate another conversation with Lin Mingfei for the rest of the way.

As they turned out of the outpatient lobby, they suddenly heard someone behind them call out brightly, “Oh! Are you two Zero and Blink?!”

Lin Mingfei’s heart gave a thump. Oh no. He was still stuck in the mindset that they were washed-up and forgotten, and had completely forgotten that they had already become somewhat famous in the scene. He was just about to pull up the hood of his sweatshirt and pretend he hadn’t heard, preferably keeping his head down and walking away, when Xia Tong had already foolishly turned around. “Huh? Who called me?”

We’re screwed, Lin Mingfei lamented inwardly.

Sure enough, several teenage boys and girls squeezed through the crowd and excitedly surrounded them.

“Oh my gosh!! It really is Z-God himself!!! He’s so handsome!!! Why is he so tall?!”

“Can I get your autograph!! I’ve been a longtime Polaris fan!! I love you so much, Z-God!!”

“Blink!! It really is Blink!! Ah, you’re so tiny in person!! You look just like a doll!”

“So cute, so cute!! Blink, can I take a picture with you?! I’ve liked you ever since I first saw your livestream!!”

Xia Tong was a little dumbfounded. One hand was still covering his stomach, and the fans quickly noticed something unusual.

“Huh? Why did you two come to the hospital? Are you sick?”

“I think I just saw you two coming from the surgical department! Is Blink sick, or is Z-God sick?”

“Huh? I feel like you two are especially close as teammates! Blink is an Omega, right? And Z-God is the top Alpha of Team P… so are you two—”

Lin Mingfei: “……No!”

The alarm bells in his head started ringing wildly.

An Alpha and an Omega walking out of colorectal surgery together—what kind of unspeakable situation was that supposed to imply?! ……If only he’d had He Youjin bring Xia Tong to the hospital instead.

No, they absolutely could not let a scandalous rumor start at a moment like this. Otherwise, Team P’s reputation as a “nest of debauchery” would be firmly established!

Lin Mingfei rapidly ran through a crisis-PR strategy in his head and decided to choose the lesser of two evils.

“Oh, Blink is constipated.” With a completely expressionless face, he threw Xia Tong under the bus. In an utterly serious tone, he said, “I brought him to the colorectal clinic to get some medicine.” As he spoke, he even held up the medicine box for them to see.

The fans: “……???”

All of their mouths slowly tightened as they desperately tried to hold back their laughter. Their gazes toward Xia Tong were suddenly filled with tenderness and sympathy.

Xia Tong: “……!!!”

The little Omega finally realized what had happened. His face instantly turned bright red, and he whipped around to stare at Lin Mingfei in disbelief. “How could you…… how could you tell them everything?!”

Lin Mingfei was the very picture of righteousness. “We have to be honest with our fans.”

Xia Tong went berserk, clutching Lin Mingfei’s clothes for dear life. “Ahhh, I’m so embarrassed!! Aaaaaah!!”

The fans were practically dying trying not to laugh.

“Blink, it’s okay! Just make sure you eat properly and get plenty of rest! You need to take good care of your health so you can play well!”

“Exactly!! Z-God is such a loving teammate!! We’ll always support Polaris!!”

“We’ll definitely watch your official matches!! Hope you guys put on an amazing performance!!”

Lin Mingfei quickly signed an autograph for one of the fans. “Thanks for your support. I need to take Blink home now. You guys stay safe too.”

“Okay, okay!! Love you, Z-God!!”

“Make sure you take good care of Blink!!!”

Lin Mingfei gave them a professional, practiced smile. “I will. Don’t worry.” Then he ushered Xia Tong toward the parking lot.

–

After finally getting into the car, Lin Mingfei let out a long sigh of relief and said, still shaken, “Next time we go out, we have to remember to wear hats and masks. Things are different now. I need to tell everyone when we get back.”

Xia Tong, sitting in the passenger seat, didn’t say a word.

Lin Mingfei paused, sensing that something was off, and turned to look at him.

The little Omega wouldn’t even look at him. His tiny lips were pressed tightly together, his hand gripping the seat belt as he squirmed restlessly.

Lin Mingfei: “Xia Tong?”

“Humph!” Xia Tong turned his head away to the other side.

Lin Mingfei: “……”

Well, what goes around comes around. This time, it was Xia Tong’s turn to refuse to speak to him no matter what.

Xia Tong didn’t give him a single pleasant look the entire ride. Lin Mingfei felt a little awkward himself. As soon as they got back to the base and he parked the car, the little Omega opened the door and bolted out, rushing into the base with a series of pitiful little sobs.

“Manager He!! Brother Shi Ya!!! Waaaaah!! Zero bullied me!!!! He made me embarrass myself in front of the fans! Waaaaah!!”

Lin Mingfei: “……”

---

Lin Mingfei had expected the incident to spread quickly, but he hadn’t expected it to spread that quickly.

They had gone to the hospital that morning, and before noon, posts had already started appearing in Polaris’s fan community.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA I went to the hospital today to get my wisdom tooth pulled, and I happened to run into Z-God taking Xia Tong to the hospital for constipation. That scene was so fucking funny I laughed so hard the hospital security guards literally dragged me away!!”

“I was there too!!! Z-God himself really is a freaking male model!!! And Blink is absolutely adorable in person!!! He’s so tiny standing next to Z-God!! I melted!!!”

“Tsundere Z-God taking care of a kid—this contrast is absolutely killing me HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“I even took pictures!! Pictures or it didn’t happen!!! Xia Tong looked so pitiful and soft with his stomach clutched like that!!! Mommy’s heart just melted!!!”

“Holy crap, you guys are so lucky!!! You actually ran into them at the hospital!! Which hospital was it?! I’m going to camp out there too!!!”

“Am I the only one who noticed the important detail here? Constipation??”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA why did our little cutie get constipated?! Is it because those dog Alphas have been feeding him too much meat?!”

“Even though this is so tragic, I still really want to laugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Could you guys please take better care of our precious baby!! Give him some vegetables!! Don’t raise him into a second Zhou Yanjun!!”

“Fire says he feels personally attacked.”

“Z-God is way too ruthless! He just casually exposed something this embarrassing! Doesn’t our little Omega have any dignity?! [doge]”

“If I were Xia Tong, I’d bite that dog Alpha to death on the spot → →. And yet, somehow, Xia Tong still seems so well-behaved.”

“No, no, no, Blink was practically about to cry from anger at the time HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Z-God really is a bastard.”

“Am I the only one who thinks the two of them look so freaking good together?! They give me major ‘old dog bastard × little idiot’ vibes.”

“You’re not the only one.”

“+1.”

“+2.”

“+10086.”

……

Everyone at Polaris silently scrolled through their phones, expressing their deepest sympathy for their sacrificed comrade, Xia Xiaotong.

The culprit, Lin Mingfei, finally felt a tiny bit guilty. He coughed twice to break the awkward silence.

“There are so many fans, and we hardly ever run into them in person anyway, so it’s really not a big deal… If it were people we regularly meet around us who found out, that would be embarrassing, right?”

The moment he finished speaking, several new Weibo notifications popped up.

@Sabertooth_Goblin: “HAHAHAHAHAHA How toxic is Polaris’s food that it managed to make their new wizard player constipated?! Looks like our Sabertooth’s water and soil are still superior! HAHAHA!”

@Sabertooth_Molan: “Agreed. We all have meals planned by nutritionists, so we’d never end up with the kind of physique certain fat people have. Polaris should learn from us.”

@Sabertooth_YOYO: “So how is Blink’s constipation now? Does he need an enema? I can recommend a brand! @PolarisOfficialClub, @Polaris_Zero.”

@Sabertooth_RobinKing: “Your official matches are coming up soon. Can your team please pay a little more attention to this sort of thing? This is seriously unprofessional! At this rate, it feels like we’re going to win without even having to fight! @PolarisOfficialClub, @Polaris_Zero.”

Lin Mingfei: “……”

He Youjin raised his eyelids and said in a distant, resigned tone, “Well, now the whole world knows Xia Xiaotong is constipated.”

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