TuxedoTranslations

Chapter 61

With a coachman arranged by Sultanlai who was familiar with the route, they arrived at Thorn City—neighboring the Tulip Kingdom—by noon.

Watching the familiar scenery sweep past the carriage window, Albin was especially excited. His past experiences and his present journey suddenly connected!

Brimming with enthusiasm, he pointed outside and introduced to Zeman and Padma:

“That bakery often sells burnt bread at a low price…”

He and Xiao Hei had often bought that kind of bread in the beginning.

“The blood sausage there doesn’t taste good, but the meat flatbread is nice…”

“That building used to be an arena. After it burned down and collapsed, it was never rebuilt. Now it’s turned into an open-air theater. Uncle Jacques even took us to see a performance there…”

Everything from the past appeared vividly before his eyes. Albin felt as though he had only gone away briefly, and was now bringing his father and the others back home with him.

What would Xiao Hei’s reaction be?

It wasn’t until he stepped off the warm carriage, winter wind lashing at his face and making him sneeze, that he felt a strange sense of dislocation, as if a whole lifetime had passed.

Zeman adjusted his scarf and cast a few small warming spells for him.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Albin looked up with a sweet smile.

Holding one hand in his left and one in his right, bundled snugly in his scarf, he walked toward the small house they had lived in before, full of anticipation.

From the outside, the house looked quiet and neglected, overgrown with weeds. It was normal if Xiao Hei hadn’t had time to take care of it by himself.

Suppressing the unease in his heart, he was about to knock when he suddenly realized—the door wasn’t locked.

The lock seemed broken, the door creaked, on the verge of falling apart, cracks visible where it had been forced.

Pushing the door open, the scene inside was nothing like what he had imagined.

The house was a mess, as though it had been looted. All the food was gone, some of the furniture taken, the rest scattered across the floor. Hanging above were remnants of the decorations Albin had prepared for his birthday party that day.

Albin immediately ran to his room. Unsurprisingly, it too had been ransacked—the wooden bed, mattress, and blankets all gone, with no signs of anyone living there.

Only Uncle Jacques’s books—hard to sell and useless to most people—remained untouched.

Xiao Hei wasn’t here. He probably hadn’t come back at all.

Albin’s heart pounded wildly. Countless guesses flooded his mind, fear gripping him until his body trembled.

Then where was Xiao Hei?

Could he have been caught up in the disaster that day too?

Distraught, he dashed outside, running straight toward the training valley.

The forest fire hadn’t reached here. Traces of Xiao Hei’s training remained, but they were all from long ago.

On the stone where Xiao Hei usually rested, Albin found a bouquet of flowers. Preserved somewhat by the winter cold, the flowers were wilted and withered but not rotting—still recognizable.

Were these flowers prepared by Xiao Hei?

He blinked in confusion. Why had Xiao Hei picked so many flowers, all in red and white?

Behind him, Zeman—who had followed and was observing the surroundings—noticed something unusual.

“Albin, there’s a gravestone here for Jacques.”

Though burial customs varied from place to place, the tradition of marking the dead with a gravestone was widespread.

Albin’s eyes lit up.

“It must have been Xiao Hei!” He ran over eagerly, and upon seeing the writing on the stone, grew even more excited. “It’s Xiao Hei’s handwriting!”

Zeman stroked his head.

“That child must be fine.”

Albin nodded vigorously, his frantic heart finally soothed.

Thank goodness, Xiao Hei wasn’t dead!

For kids like them, traveling from one place to another wasn’t easy—maybe Xiao Hei was still nearby!

Albin released a few firework spells, but after waiting a long time, no response came. He asked his father if they could stay here for a few days.

Zeman naturally agreed, though the house was uninhabitable now. They stayed at an inn in town instead, taking all the books and writing supplies from the house with them.

With paper and ink at hand, Albin suddenly had an idea—he could draw a missing-person notice.

Pictures would definitely make it easier to find someone.

Dipping his quill in ink, he sprawled across the desk, sketching Xiao Hei’s image.

“Black hair, blue eyes, a tear mole under his left eye, sharp little fangs—super cute. When he grins, he looks especially cocky…”

“Look!” He proudly held up his masterpiece for Zeman and Padma. “This is exactly what Xiao Hei looks like!”

The two adults stared at the picture in an odd silence.

Jade woke up with a yawn, bleary-eyed, and upon seeing the drawing, asked in confusion:

【Albin, are you drawing… a crocodile?】

Albin puffed up his cheeks angrily.

“This is Xiao Hei! Not a crocodile! Doesn’t it look like him at all?”

Frustrated, he studied his drawing for a long moment, then nodded firmly.

“See? It does look like him!”

The two adults, staring at the sketch made of geometric shapes, remained silent.

So… was Xiao Hei’s face really crocodile-like?

【Not human-like at all—】

Before Jade could finish his jab, Padma swiftly covered his mouth.

Under Albin’s expectant gaze, Padma forced a smile and asked,

“This child… black hair, right? And when he smiles, his style is completely different from yours, very distinctive—he must be easy to spot.”

Albin beamed with pride.

“Exactly! Xiao Hei stands out so much. I can always find him in a crowd at first glance!”

Zeman stared at the drawing and nodded as well.

Indeed, very distinctive.

Maybe that kid really did look like this. Their Albin had simply drawn him truthfully. As for technique and style—those were concerns far beyond a child.

And wasn’t this a kind of style in itself?

He praised,

“Very well done. Very accurate.”

Padma stared at him in disbelief.

So this was why Zeman could be a father? Because he could lie with a straight face better than anyone? The holy son, who must have seen countless masterworks, could say that out loud?

Padma fell silent. Taking out a handkerchief, he accepted Albin’s drawing and wiped the ink smudges from the boy’s hands and face.

“Yes, Albin, it’s a great drawing. You really captured the spirit. But with the ink smears, some parts aren’t very clear—using it to search for someone might not work so well.”

“Oh, I see!” Albin suddenly understood. “Then I’ll draw another one!”

Padma quickly stopped him.

“Little kitten, let me do it. I haven’t drawn in a while—I can use the practice.”

Albin agreed happily.

“Ah, then copy mine!”

Padma hesitated.

“I’m afraid I might draw it wrong. Albin, stay beside me and guide me.”

“Okay!”

Padma lifted the pen. Like writing elegant calligraphy, his strokes flowed smoothly.

Albin leaned in, instructing:

“Yes, yes, that’s Xiao Hei’s hair… make his gaze a bit cooler… oh, don’t forget the tear mole.”

Padma: …So that wasn’t an ink blot.

When Padma finished, Albin praised him without reservation, his eyes sparkling.

“Brother Padma, your drawing is amazing! You can do everything—you’re incredible!”

More than the joy of praise, what Padma felt was relief.

Thank goodness. Albin’s sense of aesthetics was still normal.

With Albin’s flattery, even that crocodile drawing seemed pleasing now.

He couldn’t help but think—actually, Albin did have artistic talent.

Look: eyes, nose, mouth—all present.

With the two drawings in hand, Albin took Jade along and hurried into the streets, asking around if anyone had seen Xiao Hei. But after asking and asking, he still didn’t get a single clue.:

The inn room had two beds. Jade slept on the velvet cushion taken down from the carriage, while Albin usually rotated between the two adults, dragging one of them to sleep beside him.

Padma awoke from a light sleep. He felt the child in his arms trembling, heard him sobbing and murmuring in his dreams:

“Xiao Hei…”

Padma’s expression changed. He hurriedly called to the shivering bundle in his arms.

“Albin… Albin?”

Albin blinked awake in a daze, eyes wet with tears. He rubbed them and asked in a tearful, confused voice:

“Brother Padma?”

Padma let out a breath of relief.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

He was about to sit up and light the oil lamp, but Albin tugged his sleeve.

“I don’t want to wake Daddy,” Albin whispered.

Padma glanced at Zeman, sleeping in the bed next to them. With Zeman’s sharp hearing, he had probably already woken up. Oh well—if Albin didn’t want to disturb him, then best to leave it.

Padma nodded softly.

“I had such a scary nightmare.” Albin’s heart was still thumping, fear and worry clinging to him from the dream. “I dreamed something happened to Xiao Hei…”

He had seen Xiao Hei covered in blood, like Uncle Jacques, and no matter how many healing spells he cast, Xiao Hei never stirred.

Padma frowned. The bloody scene Albin had witnessed earlier clearly still haunted him.

“He’ll be fine,” Padma murmured, gently patting his back, giving him a steadier rhythm to calm his frantic heartbeat. “Didn’t he even set up a gravestone?”

“But I don’t know when that gravestone was made. What if something happened to Xiao Hei after that?” Albin was still afraid.

Just thinking about Xiao Hei’s disappearance and unknown fate made a cold dread rise up, like icy seawater flooding into him, swallowing his heart, crushing him until he could barely breathe.

He whispered with his head lowered:

“It’s all my fault… If I had insisted on training with Xiao Hei that day, maybe he wouldn’t be missing now. It’s my fault.”

Padma brushed away his tears.

“I thought the same a few days ago… that it was my fault,” he said quietly. “If I had stopped you from watching the sunrise, if I had taken you away, if during the tower incident I had stayed with you and let Jade chase the rat—maybe I could have prevented you from being hit by magic.”

“Even if I’d gone back to the past with you and been separated, I would have found you. I wouldn’t have let you eat burnt bread, or wait alone for a year and a half, or now face losing a friend.”

“All of this is because of my own uselessness.”

His words dripped with self-loathing.

“That’s not true!” Albin protested at once, so anxious he forgot to keep his voice down.

“I was the one who wanted to watch the sunrise. It has nothing to do with you, Brother Padma! It’s not your fault at all! The magic was cast by bad people! If you hadn’t scared off the rat, it might have traveled back in time with me, and that would have been terrible.”

“Xiao Hei stayed with me all along. Other than missing everyone a little, I was really fine. Later, Uncle Jacques even adopted us! And I learned so much magic!”

“I don’t want you blaming yourself. I don’t want you talking badly about yourself…” Albin grabbed Padma’s hand and placed it against his chest. “When you say things like that, it makes me sad.”

The small but steady heartbeat, strong and alive, carried a strange power that eased Padma’s unrest.

Padma ruffled his hair.

“You too. I—we—don’t want you blaming yourself either. It would make us sad. And I think your friend would feel the same.”

Albin thought about his words.

Xiao Hei’s feelings…

After a while, he murmured:

“I get it. Instead of blaming myself, tomorrow I’ll go back into the forest to keep looking for Xiao Hei… Brother Padma, were you just saying that to comfort me?”

Padma hesitated, then denied it.

“No. Everything I said is true.”

Albin looked surprised.

“But Brother Padma, you’re not useless at all. You’re amazing! Why would you think of yourself like that? You’re good at everything! Those powerful nobles trust you. You understand so many people’s thoughts. You know all kinds of difficult etiquette. You write beautifully, you draw incredibly well, you cook delicious food…”

Padma looked away.

“But I can’t even control my own body.”

“How could that be?” Albin wanted to ask more, but Padma didn’t explain.

“…I don’t want you to think I’m disgusting.”

Whether it was the god of wine fused within him, or his heart filled with envy, Padma felt it was all grotesque and revolting.

He was like a rotting creature stitched together from corpses, ugly from the inside out.

Not human, not god, not demon.

“I’d never think that!” Albin said angrily.

Seeing Padma still closed up like a clam, Albin declared:

“Then Brother Padma, hug me.”

Though puzzled, Padma held him close.

Albin grinned.

“At least right now, your body is listening to you.”

Padma froze, then sighed helplessly.

“No—it’s clearly listening to you.”

Albin stuck out his tongue.

“So the Brother Padma I know—it’s always really you?”

“…Yes.”

“And everything you’ve done and said to me—it’s been your choice? Nobody’s forcing you?”

“It’s my choice.”

Albin smiled.

“Then to me, that’s the Brother Padma I know. Gentle, handsome, capable of everything!”

Padma gazed at him with shadowed eyes.

“What if…” He seemed to be weighing something. “What if I’m not gentle at all?”

“Eh?” Albin blinked, confused.

“I get jealous.” Padma picked the lighter confession, his voice like a snake whispering in the dark. “I even got jealous when you gave the first bite of your baked apple yesterday to Zeman instead of me. I’m that petty.”

“Hmm…” Albin thought about it.

He understood envy, but jealousy was a bit unfamiliar—something he had only read about or seen online.

“Then… have you ever hurt Daddy because of jealousy?” Albin asked.

“…No.” Padma sounded unsatisfied with that answer.

In truth, he wished those he envied would just disappear. But he couldn’t defeat Zeman, and he didn’t want Albin to be hurt or hate him.

So he just endured jealousy churning inside, sweeping over him again and again, until even his throat was tight with a sourness he couldn’t swallow.

Albin smiled.

“If you haven’t hurt anyone, then that kind of jealousy is cute! Brother Padma, does jealousy feel very painful for you?”

…Jealousy? Cute?

Padma was stunned.

“Yes. It does.”

“But you’re already amazing, Brother Padma. There’s no need to be jealous of others. Maybe they’re secretly jealous of you instead.”

Albin thought a moment, then added brightly:

“When you feel jealous, you can just tell me! If you don’t say anything, I won’t know what you’re thinking. And if it’s something I can do, I’ll try my best to make you happy!”

Padma was speechless. Warm syrup seemed to pour from his throat into his chest, softening the bitterness that had long lingered there.

How could someone even accept jealousy this ugly?

Albin shifted into a more comfortable sleeping position.

“Sorry for waking you, Brother Padma. Let’s sleep now! I need to get up early tomorrow to look for Xiao Hei.”

“All right. Good night. May you dream something nice.” Padma tucked him in again.

“Good night, Brother Padma~”

The next morning, while helping Albin straighten his collar, Padma caught Zeman casting him a complicated look.

Without a word, Zeman smoothly scooped Albin up and carried him out first.

Oh? Had Zeman overheard last night’s conversation—and gotten jealous too?

Padma curved his lips into a smile.

So this was what it felt like to see someone else jealous—how satisfying~

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